Why should you attend a funeral? The presence of family and friends at the funeral is appreciated. We gather to acknowledge a life that was lived. We gather to comfort those for whom life has just been forever changed by the death of someone they loved.

Are you considering going to a funeral? Will you be a guest or, are you the survivor in charge and deciding if there will even be a funeral? Either way, before you just skip the funeral perhaps you should consider how elephants behave when one of their species dies. Perhaps we have something to learn from Dumbo.

One of the realities of losing a spouse or a parent is the impact that event has on living arrangements. Are we living in the “right” place? Is the house too big? Is it too far away from family? Will my surviving parent be safe where they live? Should I move to be closer to mom or should mom move closer to me?

Even months after the funeral it’s not uncommon to feel just not exactly right. We all lose our way from time to time. Things happen and we can’t find our JOY. It’s not really so much gone, as it is misplaced. Life feels dull and the days seem to drag. No matter what the circumstances, if you look for it, you can find your own personal JOY again. However, you will have to work a bit to find it and reconnect.

You are with someone with whom you share some history. Maybe it’s a brother, sister, or a childhood friend. You are talking about an event from the “old days” and you suddenly realize you all remember the event a little differently. Most of us have had this experience. Our relationships work in a similar fashion. The way we love, like the way we remember, is unique to each of us.

Your presence is important. If there is any way possible, please, just be there. When a child is born it is a life changing event for the parents, siblings and grandparents at the very least. It may also be a life changing event for the kindergarten teacher five years in the future. Bottom line, life matters.

Condolences do matter and timing is important. Do not put off contacting your friend to express your sympathy. Options and opportunities may have changes over the deca des, but the importance of reaching out to those suffering a loss has not. A call or a written note is always just right. Social media is just fine under some circumstances and a personal visit is lovely. Additionally, many funeral homes have a place on their website to post condolences. This format allows your expression of sympathy to be delivered privately and quickly. So, let’s start with the newest trend - technology and social media. It’s so fast and so easy to access. If you are texting a co-worker several times a day about other things, it would seem rude to not mention the loss of her mother. Do use private messaging forms of social media with people you communicate with regularly in this manner. Caution!! Be very careful to not send a public condolence message using social media if your friend has not made an equally public announcement of his or her loss on the same platform. Do follow-up your message with a call or personal note. Finally, do not use electronic messaging if the receiver is not a regular user of tech. Hand written notes or cards made for just this purpose should be mailed to the person closest to the deceased or to a personal friend who has experienced a loss. Your personal note should be simple. Thoughts such as you are sorry for their loss, you are thinking of them in this difficult time or they are in your thoughts and prayers are appropriate. If you knew the deceased, you might share a brief story about the person who died and shares your connection. Should you make a condolence visit? Oh, my yes! A personal visit is the only way to give a hug. However, do call ahead. Do keep your visit brief and do focus on the grieving individual. Please, don’t say you know how they feel even if you share a similar experience. There will be a time for sharing later. For now, just let them know you are sorry for their loss. Come as a listener not a problem solver. https://www.ledfordfamilyfh.com

When a loved one passes away, families work with funeral homes to provide care for the deceased and prepare for their services and final disposition. During this difficult time, it takes a caring, guiding hand to ensure everything is in order and celebrates the life of this unique individual. That’s where funeral directors come in. But there’s a lot that a funeral director does that you might not be aware of. Let’s take a look at the many duties a funeral director is responsible for.

When it comes to a veteran’s funeral, it’s important for their families to understand what the military will pay for. There’s no way to repay the debt that a veteran has paid to our country, but there are some elements that the military covers for a veteran’s funeral and final disposition. So, what help can you as a veteran expect to receive for your funeral? As long as you meet specific criteria, your family can expect some help when the day of your funeral arrives.